(Read: ~10 minutes)
The root of attraction between La Bohème and Jason Clementine fascinates lovers of romance, who speculate the pair’s connection stretches backwards and forwards through time, appearing and disappearing from otherwise temporary perspectives. If you’re inclined to look for a pragmatic reason, La Bohème found Clem compelling, frequently in the opposite direction.
No one ever knew what to expect from Clem. He charmed and insulted in the same breath. By the time people realized what a jerk he could be, most already loved him.
In advance of the upcoming vaudeville festival, Connie set up several publicity opportunities for La Bohème and Clem to promote the event. This included an interview for a local TV station’s weekend preview segment hosted by their star weather lady, Crystal Green. In all, only fifteen seconds of their interview aired on the station despite the rest being solid gold. Fortunately, an unknown editor at the station thought so too and preserved the remaining footage. Thanks to their foresight, we can still enjoy a few minutes of Clem’s thoughts on life and La Bohème.
Viewpoints differ about Clem’s motivation. One sect says he plays a favorite character, one he calls the asshole, and La Bohème recognized the act. Clem fans claim a tacit agreement of acceptance existed between Clem and La Bohème, which required letting the joke play out to his satisfaction. They point out she finished the plug before the asshole character made an appearance. Clem haters say his behavior points to a dark side La Bohème avoided confronting.
The clip starts with an introduction by the segment’s host. “Hello and welcome to another awesome edition of Crystal’s Clear Weekend Report. I’m your go-to senior meteorologist, Crystal Green, and my guests today include a couple of emerging local talents you will be thrilled to meet. It’s my pleasure to introduce La Bohème, who’s creating a buzz around town with her, uh, fascinating talents.” The weather lady stumbled trying to describe La Bohème, who thanked her graciously.
“And also here with us is Jason Clementine, the lead singer of Clem and Them, an up-and-coming local rock band,” Crystal continued. “Thanks to both of you for joining me.”
Clem nodded and drank his beer.
In the clip aired on TV, La Bohème gave a decent interview and promoted the event before Clem spoke. “Thank you, Crystal. Really enjoy your weekend previews and depend on your daily weather forecasts.”
“Wow! Thanks. Coming from you, that’s a real compliment,” she laughed. “And compliments are always welcome. Of course, we’re here to talk about you and what you’re up to this weekend, right? Tell my audience all about the vaudeville festival!” Crystal requested.
La Bohème smiled and leaned in towards the reporter across the table, like she wanted to share a secret.
“Crystal, the main stage under the tent is set to host one-of-a-kind live entertainment. Plus expect tons of talented craftspeople and vendors. We start in the morning and run all day. Remember, only a ticket will get you in.”
“Folks can get tickets here at Mulligan’s and at Wahooz Records on The Corner. Let me stress to people, get your tickets in advance. We want to make sure to put on a safe and enjoyable event for everyone.”
“Don’t dilly-dally, people!” Crystal exclaimed. “Tickets may sell out and you will not want to miss this, trust me.”
That’s the only footage to make the cut for the weekend segment about the festival. But the interview actually continued.
“La Bohème, I’ve got my ear to the street hearing plenty of people singing your praises around town about your efforts to help the community…”
Then Clem interrupted the weather lady and depending on your perspective, the interview either goes downhill or gets interesting.
“She isn’t helping anyone. She’s their victim. People line up to see her, anxious pack animals trying to unload their burdens, usually forms of shame or guilt. Once she’s sufficiently weighed down with everyone’s baggage, she’ll no longer be able to reach great heights and the world will suffer along with her. Rising to heights where the edges of good and evil fade into each other below me. Only a few will find these heights comforting, most feel afraid or threatened, and I’m labeled a monster by those looking up.”
“Sorry, what?” the weather lady asked, obviously unsure what to make of Clem’s outburst.
“Sin, morality and forgiveness are only ideas used to control people,” Clem continued. “Life persists without permission. Nature reigns immodest and amoral. In the face of such power, I’m humble and accept the truth most vainly resist,” Clem complimented himself, then smelled the air while looking at the weather lady. “I’m also shameless like a dog, sniffing what attracts me without guilt. Admittedly, the smell of a freak attracts me,” he told her while taking in the smell of the air again. “You hide the realest aspects about you, your impulses. Think of the happiness in accepting or loving your desires instead of triggering fear and contempt. Go ahead and eat, drink and screw. La Bohème does.”
He looked at La Bohème and laughed. She ignored him. Still staring at her, he continued speaking. “People will always fight and kill. Accept the parts about life you can’t love.”
Then Clem turned and looked straight into the camera while he spoke. “The universe created La Bohème to determine her own reality, morals and such. The rest of us can choose to follow or not.”
“Our morality differs, fine, but a line always exists. Even packs of dogs keep rules,” Crystal countered.
“Kept by the alpha dog,” Clem countered. “For what purpose? Control over what’s allowed or destroyed.”
“A decent society made up of human beings can’t tolerate evil.”
Clem laughed at Crystal, the weather lady. “I’ll tell you how life really is. There is no evil, only determinations about necessity and acceptability, made by people in control for the rest of us.”
The weather lady turned visibly agitated at Clem’s point. She crinkled her eyebrows and nose and rubbed her forehead, sweat smeared her TV makeup. “There’s no difference between good and evil? Just look at the world around us. You must see people commit horrible acts like rape and murder without remorse. Evil sickos hurt people for fun. Good people don’t accept such atrocious behavior.”
Clem shrugged. “All people accept whatever serves their bias, beliefs and purposes. The difference between pleasure and pain comes from who gives and who receives, who offers and who asks. I’m harsh in order to thrive in a world filled with pre-existing cruel realities.”
“Pity to anyone who thinks how you do, Jason,” Crystal scolded, her reserve gone by this point in the interview.
“I refuse to be demeaned with your pity,” Clem smirked. “The most capable among us come from the womb endowed with the power of gods. We’re free to embrace the world and thrive despite cruel circumstances.”
The weather lady objected. “The world we know, the life we see isn’t all that matters. We get what’s coming to us. The people who commit evil should worry about what happens to their souls for the rest of eternity.”
“The great focus on the here and now. The thought of living their life over again brings joyous anticipation.”
“Perhaps this festival under the tent in a strip mall parking lot will be your only meaningful contribution. How will you feel about your life then?” she asked him.
“Failure qualifies as the only justification for suffering. Maybe no one except La Bohème will ever care about my suffering. And to make sure she cares after I’m gone, I left my estate to her, wrote my wishes on an official piece of paper and put it in the bank. She can’t forget now.” He grinned and kept his gaze locked on her. “Everyone stays immortal until forgotten.”
“My heart breaks for you, Jason. Already so jaded,” Crystal said.
“My heart is smashed to get rid of the guilt and shame put there by my parents, teachers, neighbors,” Clem answered, then gestured off camera with his fingers.
A few seconds later, the bartender came into the picture to give him a fresh bottle of beer. Clem took a long drink then set the bottle down on the table with a solid thud and a drawn out satisfied “Ahh…,” followed by silence, which he finally broke with indignation.
“Life has no concern for souls, yours, theirs, whoever.”
Crystal pushed back. “You claim to possess humility and then dismiss the common values connecting almost everyone else.”
“How can anything common be valuable?” Clem interrupted without answering her point. “Rarity motivates people to achieve greatness, or find a leader to revere. No one ever needs redemption or salvation, or a reason to revere anyone but themselves. You see, when it comes to La Bohème, I want nothing from her, unlike everyone else, because myself and my ego are enough. In some ways,” Clem said, trying to reach out and touch his girlfriend, except the young woman leaned away. “I’m willing to sell a piece of myself in order to eat. Hunger binds me to the rest of the world, not love.
At this point in the video, Crystal looked off camera. “There’s a problem with the sound recording?” she asked one of her crew for confirmation.
Clem continued to speak directly to La Bohème and quoted Nietzsche. “Has my definition of love been heard? It is the only one worthy of a philosopher. Love, in its means, war.”
Then the video cuts out.
Arlo Gust 