(Read: ~10 minutes)
In the months following their visit to the museum, Gaston made a weekly trip to study Rosa in Norfolk. He maintained his belief that magnificent minds created past life experiences; intentionally or not, human intellect generated psychic phenomena. At the same time, he noted and wondered at the existential questions frequently popping into his head while testing Rosa’s capabilities. The normally staid researcher turned giddy contemplating how his test subject potentially represented a groundbreaking understanding into the origins of programs in the biocomputer, why we find reasons to live, love, hate and harm.
He saw himself on the vanguard of magnificent discovery, the scientific method explaining human nature better than any philosopher, poet, or prophet. According to Gaston, such fanatics cloud the debate with heartfelt speculation, dogmatic opinion and outright antagonism, regardless of any particular belief or source. Of course, he felt differently about himself and the scientists who find no such characteristics in their makeup, believing the shining light of objectivity offers the only reasonable way forward for humanity. In Gaston’s imagination, skeptics lead the future, demanding proof of reality, dismissing conjecture and fantasy. In fact, his critical worldview got him the job at DOPS.
His boss at DOPS wanted Gaston to weed out frauds and the young researcher delivered, becoming adept at dismissing bogus claims through valid scientific investigation. His time with Rosa in Norfolk proved different. Despite his best efforts to employ novel tests to trip her up, he maintained a growing list of unexplained phenomena. This included documenting an increasing number of lives she claimed to have lived along with intimate details about their existence, from the past and also the future. Along with these experiences emerged an ever increasing bank of random thoughts, sights, sounds and tactile sensations, to which she could associate no particular life or frame of reference at all. Gaston’s boss at DOPS eagerly awaited each update from Gaston about how quickly and thoroughly Rosa developed her insight.
During their initial meetings, Rosa acted sweet and accepted Gaston’s inquisition. After a few months though, she started to chafe at his scientific process based on doubt. In fact, she tired of doubt in general and began to get defensive if not downright bratty. So what? Children have cruddy days, everybody, every age, everywhere does, even La Bohème later in life, making her like the rest of us. Her human emotions became raw reacting to a bombardment of stimulus from countless sources, creating sensations most of us never experience and can’t really understand. In her youth, she’d yet to develop the tact necessary to control how she directed her insight, explaining the comments she made about her teacher’s divorce and her classmate’s grandfather. The situation came to a head one day at the beginning of another visit when she opened the door before he knocked.
“Why do you keep coming back? You don’t believe me.”
Though Gaston sensed Rosa’s irritation, he stuck to his high ground.
“So what? My job requires testing if what you say is true or false and following the results wherever they lead,” he responded to her accusation.
Rosa’s eyes got dark, she squinted and huffed. “Va te faire,” she scowled. With a wave of her hand, she turned and ran into her tiny bedroom. The walls of the apartment shook when she slammed the door behind her. Gaston looked at Letitia, who sat at the small kitchen table covering a smirk with her hand. She shrugged her shoulders.
“Rosa speaks French a lot now when she’s upset. Sounds like French, right?”
Gaston did speak French; his own mother insisted he learn the language due to her francophone heritage. His mother called French the language of love; except in this case, Gaston explained Rosa just told him to fuck off.
Letitia smirked. “Yeah, not something she learned at school, in French anyway.”
They laughed together, clearing tension from the room. Letitia coughed and needed to catch her breath.
“It’s best to leave her alone when she gets wound up,” she finally said.
Gaston agreed and sat down at the table with Letitia. He clasped his hands together in front of him and smiled.
“A lot of people fabricate these stories, for whatever reason. My job requires figuring out who tells the truth and who lies. Clearly, Rosa possesses extraordinary thoughts,” he confirmed.
Gaston paused and shuffled in his seat.
“I have a request, a proposal,” he said, his hands shaking from nerves and excitement. “You and Rosa move to Charlottesville where we can work together at least a few times per week and figure out what makes her special.”
Letitia sat stone-faced.
“The magnitude of this decision for you is really huge,” Gaston acknowledged. He twiddled his thumbs for a few silent seconds before continuing with perks he lined up for the family.
“Almost forgot to mention there’s an apartment waiting for you. My friend owns the building and agreed to defer rent for a few months until you get on your feet, as a favor to me. There’s plenty of work at the university and employed by the state, you’ll get healthcare and a decent schedule with weekends off.”
Mother and daughter disappointed Gaston if he hoped for a positive response; Rosa stayed in her room and Letitia remained silent. The lessons in the dog training books fell short for the situation. Finally, the magnitude of the situation squeezed a sigh out of Letitia and she finally spoke up about the trepidation she had with letting people close to Rosa into their circle.
“If I’m being honest, Dr. Billingsgate, I feel the need to be careful right now. Rosa needs help, so I’ve asked for her, even if I seem weak when I’m used to looking strong.”
“Asking for help is strong,” Gaston answered.
“Then maybe the feeling of weakness comes from wanting to believe people who say they can help her when I can’t.”
Elbows propped on the table, Letitia rested her chin on long fingers coming together like a prayer, then let out a sigh before continuing to speak.
“Try to put yourself in the shoes of a mother trying to do the best for her kid,” she told Gaston. “You get a different opinion from everyone you ask. Mothers already get enough suggestions about how to raise their kids. Besides, I’ve got no one close to ask for advice; no close friends or family to confide in, or lean on, or cry to, or call for help. I survived on my own until Rosa came.”
“No family at all?” Gaston asked.
“Mom raised a couple of boys long before my birth. See, no one meant for me to happen; my parents made a mistake. My mother died a few days after I was born. My father quit caring about life and died a couple years later. Grannie stepped in to raise me. She was my only family until she passed too, the summer after my high school graduation. Then no one cared.”
Letitia paused and looked at Rosa’s door, then continued.
“There’s always a catch; nothing in life comes free. So what do you really want from Rosa?”
Gaston obviously skipped the part about manufacturing LSD. So he told her a half-truth. Gaston began by elaborating on why Dr. Lilly’s theories about the human biocomputer inspired him while a young man. Of course, he left out the part about using acid to navigate and explore his mind. Instead, Gaston talked about how our brains resemble computers, with programs instructing how to process information and controlling how we think, act and feel.
“We’re born with instructions, some we’re taught, and others develop from our experiences. Many programs can be altered easily, while many actively resist interference. Messing with certain programs crashes the whole system,” he explained. “There’s billions of us, none the same. It’s almost impossible to imagine the range of personalities, emotions, reactions and memories. Yet, despite all our differences, we’re still co-dependent. Billions of people, all individuals, yet still connected in ways we don’t perceive, though the answer resides inside each of us.”
“There’s a natural interlock between biocomputers. We’re only pulled apart constantly because we’re naturally attractive.”
The two adults kept talking while Rosa listened through her bedroom door. The connections between people made sense to Letitia.
“I thank God every day for her. Lately though, worries about the past and the future occupy my mind. Meanwhile, today passes by, unappreciated. There’s no explanation for why except hidden programming controls my actions, using your words.”
“Yes, exactly!” Gaston hooted, clapping his hands together in satisfaction. “And if we understand the programs running inside our minds, we can improve our own outcomes, meaning there’s hope, no matter where we find ourselves.”
He explained how his research involved different types of analysis designed to help people understand the origins of their own beliefs and behaviors. He started the journey himself and now he wanted to educate the world. He explained the potential impact of their collaboration.
“Rosa’s involvement will move this research forward, to understand about the origins of her programming, inside her powerful biocomputer. Then we will find ways people can help themselves, and others,” he hypothesized.
“And what if she wants to explore a different direction instead?”
“No one will stand in Rosa’s way.”
Letitia thought for a second.
“I knew everything about myself and my capabilities before Rosa. Then her birth revealed the truth about how we extend beyond ourselves and now the only question is how far. Rosa may be the proof you never expected.”
Gaston replied without hesitation.
“The world needs to understand how the connections work, these sensations coming from her programming and her interlock with external reality. We grow eyes, ears, hands, a nose and a mouth, proof we’re not supposed to exist on our own. Our body and mind degrades when isolated or alone. Yet my belief remains the same; Rosa’s gifts can be explained within the physical structure of her mind and body. Her capabilities are extraordinary, but not paranormal.”
Gaston finished his appeal by saying whatever the source of her memories, he believed the world could learn from her if she agreed. He foresaw improved relationships between wives and husbands, parents and children, neighbors and people who work together, play together and worship together.
Letitia gave him a pat on his leg. They both sat there for a few seconds in silence. Gaston admitted later to holding his breath, which surprised him. He never expected to care so deeply about Rosa’s decision.
Then she finally opened her door and walked over to him. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she agreed to go to Charlottesville. Her face looked blank, resigned to whatever happened around her. Letitia noticed the look and worried her powerful child didn’t always seem empowered by her gifts.
Gaston overlooked Rosa’s expression and focused on Letitia hopefully; she looked back at him with trepidation, then sighed and agreed to move to Charlottesville.
Arlo Gust 